I'll Ruin You! Ruin You!!

Last night, I saw her again.

My downfall began the day she entered my life, and she has been haunting me ever since. The whole thing is so crazy I have stopped trying to make sense of it. and she still won’t leave me alone.

I first saw her years ago, perched atop the cupboard in my bedroom. This was long ago, when I was yet to reach the stage where I could afford a mahogany wardrobe. I had two cupboards in my bedroom back then. She was sitting on the one on the left.

I was reading the newspaper, having come home early. My parents and wife were in the living room. I wouldn’t even have noticed her, had she not spoken.

“What’re you doing, relaxing like that?” she asked me sternly, as if it was against the law.

I looked up, and there she was, sitting corss legged, wearing a grey saree of coarse material.

“You’re reading?” she said again?

“So what do I do?” I retorted sharply, not knowing what I was doing. It didn’t cross my mind to think how she got in the house, and how she managed to climb atop the cupboard without anyone knowing,

“Where’s my child?” she demanded.

“What the hell do I know where your child is?” I asked hotly.

My wife and parents came running into the bedroom and asked me what happened.

“This woman’s pestering me about her child. What do I know?” I said to them.

They turned to look where I pointed. I turned too.

She was gone.

*************************

“Do you have nightmares?” my wife asked me out of the blue.

I looked up from the novel I was reading.

“No, why?” I didn’t even dream that often.

“You push me away in your sleep,” she said accusingly.

“I … what?” I had to make sure she really said that.

“You push me away. Viciously. You did it last night as well,” she was on the verge of tears.

I didn’t know what to say.

*************************

It was past 2:00. my friend had dropped me off at the railway crossing some 10 minutes from home. We’d gone out for dinner, and the party ran till late.

Lately, I had fallen into the habit of dragging my friends along. Listening to them griping was better then running into her.

The railway crossing was closed for vehicles due to some maintenance work. So I left the taxi and set off on foot. My friend took the same taxi back home.

I crossed the tracks and was walking homwards when she stopped me. I was lost in thought and didn’t see her till she called out.

“Excuse me,” she said. “can you tell me where the railway crossing is?”

“Straight ahead,” I said, pointing behind me, not really looking at her.

“Could you walk with me till there?”

Like hell I was going to walk with her anywhere in the middle of the night. I had to go to work the next day.

“It’s really close, ma’m. I have to get home. I’m sorry,” I told her.

“No, please. Come with me,” she insisted.

“I can’t ma’m. I’m sorry,” I said, as politely as I could.

“Didn’t I say come with me?” she said raising her voice.

“And didn’t I say I can not?” I said, losing it myself. Women! I thought.

“Do you know why I’m telling you to come?”

“Why?” I couldn’t care less.

“Because I can’t see.”

I looked at her closely. Her face was covered with the ghoonghat of her saree. As I leaned forward, she raised her head slowly, till I could see her face under the saree.

Only there was no face.

Honest. There was just a wide, gaping chasm where the face should have been.

I stumbled backwards. She took a step towards me.

“Walk me till there,” she repeated. I said nothing, concentrating on getting the hell out of there.

“Come with me, or I’ll ruin you,” she said, louder now.

I turned and ran.

“I’ll ruin you! Ruin you!” she shouted after me.

I ran as hard as I could. Her screams followed me all the way home.

*************************
“Do you still see her?”

There was no reason why a total stranger should have asked me this question while I was on a pleasure trip with my wife miles away from home.

He had stopped me in the middle of the street and spoken to me. That alone was reason enough for my wife to get suspicious. That question did nothing to help the situation.

“see who?”

He only smiled.

“You know who I am talking about.”

It suddenly hit me like a shoe thrown in the face of a bad orator by a bored audience.

“Her?” I asked, praying that wasn’t who he was talking about. I hadn’t seen her in a long time.

No such luck.

“Her,” he said, with a fatalistic smile.

“No, not lately,” I said defiantly, as if it made everything all right.

He shook his head.

“She’s not going to leave you,” he said and walked away.

*************************

Two freak accidents have rendered one of my legs useless.

Five men I trusted have cheated me out of every penny I had. I have sold the three offices I owned, and my three cars, to clear my debts.

My wife has left me after the same men falsely implicated me in a scandal involving a small time model.

I have even tried killing myself, twice.

I am struggling every day just so that I can eat two meals every day.

And last night, as I was dropping off to sleep, I saw her again. She was standing near the bed, this time wearing a black chiffon saree, face covered as usual.

I immediately turned on the light. She was gone.

I sat up in bed the whole night, wondering what more she could want from me.